Merlin's days
by TheMagnaka
Summary: drabbles, short fics, what ever comes my mind and if someone wants me to write something. slash, no-slash, AU etc.
1. Fireflies  one shot

_**Merlin's days are series of short one shots, set after S3. **_

_**Thanks to my beta TheJunebut1218**_

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><p><em>Fireflies is a song fic. <em>

_I was listening _Owl City_'s _Fireflies _song fist time, and I don't know, now every time I hear that song I think about Merlin._

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><p><strong>Fireflies<strong>

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><p>It was late summer night. There were no clouds in the sky, only stars that were everywhere.<p>

The feast ended hour ago and Merlin had gone outside of Camelot to collecting some herbs for Gaius, who had mentioned one particular herb that bloomed only during the night. He didn't feel tired at all and the forest was sleeping, so he was just grabbed the basket and left. Arthur celebrated the hardest so Merlin knew that the prince would not awake before the afternoon, so there was time in the morning to sleep. Gaius kept Merlin away from the alcohol to avoid them from hearing Merlin's song, so Merlin's head was sober. He was glad of that.

Finally he found the spot where the flowers were.

It was huge bush and the flowers were middle of it.

Merlin stretched his hand, swayed and fell.

In the middle in the bush.

He crawled up and didn't realize first what was wrong.

There were bright lights everywhere around him.

He just stood there and stared and finally he realized.

Fireflies.

Thousands of fireflies.

Thousands and thousands of tiny fireflies.

They circled around him like dancing.

It was like a dream.

And the world turned slowly.

Merlin laughed.

And he started to move along.

Dancing.

He just danced along.

Spinning.

His arm's swaying.

Through all the evening he hadn't danced like this.

Enjoying.

Laughing.

Like there was nothing to worry about anymore.

Forgotten his problems.

Merlin's eyes flashed in gold and his feet begin to take a step in the air.

He laughed even more.

And the fireflies rose more and more upward on the sky.

Eventually leaving Merlin behind.

They touched the star and slowly disappeared.

And Merlin stood there.

Smiling.

Crying.

Thousands of tiny souls were gone.

Gone in the heaven.

Slowly he landed.

He felt the hard ground again under his feet.

And the earth move fast again.

Merlin felt himself lonely.

He grabbed the basket and the flowers and glancing on the sky one more time, he

left.


	2. Tired of everything one shot

_Tired of everything is tag of S3E13 set after when Merlin is head__back in the Camelot. Angst, drama, friendship._

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><p><strong>Tired of everything<strong>

* * *

><p>Merlin rested when he saw the Camelot's white walls. Dark was falling and the gate was about to shut down for night. But suddenly Merlin didn't feel that he wanted to go home. Gaius was waiting for him. Tomorrow there was work, work, and more work. More herbs collecting to Gaius. More armour to polish, sword to sharpen, more work. More secrets to hold. He felt himself tired. He leaned nearest tree and looked the town and the castle above it. His home.<p>

Arthur was going to take more responsibilities from now on. Lancelot, Gwaine and Percival were knights now for heaven's sake. Gwen was going to marry Arthur some day. But there he was, same old himself and still everything was slowly chancing around him. He sank on the ground.

What he was now? Still servant. Still watching from shadows. Still protecting. Still learning magic. Oh, how tired he felt himself now. Too much to do. And more enemies everywhere.

Merlin rubbed his eyes. He didn't even feel his magic right now. The spell veered out his power and he needed good night's sleep. The past weeks, he was always coming and going and now all of it was taking its toll him. Every muscle ached. He hadn't slept more than couple hours last night.

He looked the sky over him and the first stars.

It was such a peaceful and calm sight.

His eyes began to close.

Tired.

He was tired of everything.

()

"Here! I found him!"

"Thank the gods. Arthur would kill us if we didn't find him. Hey, Merlin, wake up."

Gwaine kneeled down and shook Merlin.

"Hey, sleepyhead, it is almost midday. You should wake up already. Merlin? Lancelot! I can't…."

"Merlin, my friend, wake up. Oh, this is not good. I think he has a fever."

"Right. If he hadn't been here all night, then I would wonder. Come on Merlin, hop, up and go. Lancelot, get onto your horse and put him in front of you."

"Right."

"Oh, he is just too light. How can he be so tall, yet be so thin? We have to see to it that he eats some more."

"I don't think that is main problem right now. He still not awake." Lancelot was truly worry now. Merlin head rested his shoulder and he was burning hot.

"Can you handle him?"

"Yes, lets go."

()

Merlin opened his eyes. There were no sky or stars above him.

There was rafters who looked familiar.

He turned his head and saw Gaius who snored nearest chair. Then his eyes wandered other person who fussed front of fireplace.

"Art-r."

The prince's head turned to see him.

"Merlin, thank god you are awake."

"Tir-d."

"How you can be tired? You have sleep almost a week."

"We-k?"

"I sent Gwaine and Lancelot to search for you when we didn't find you in here the castle. They found you outside of the woods. And no one could get you to wake up."

"So-y."

"It's okay. But what happened to you? Gaius said that there was something you had to do and you went out, but why did you sleep in the forest?"

"Tired. Too tir- of eve-ing." Merlin shut his eyes again. He didn't want to see Arthur right now. "Freya…"

"Freya? Who is Freya?"

"Merlin, can you hear me my boy?"

New voice.

"Gai-s?"

"Open your eyes, good boy. What happened. You have to tell me. You have been high fever but it's gone already. What happened? What you have done?"

"I saw Freya."

"Dear boy. She's dead."

"I sa- her in the la-e. I miss her. Avalon's water."

"Is it something do to this? Merlin? Don't sleep yet."

"T-red. Mi- her. I wan't to be with h-r. Let me sleep. Let me be in peace."

"No, stay with me!"

"Gaius, what's going on?" Arthur looked how Merlin drifted away. He looked so peaceful. And Gaius who looked panicked. And then Merlin stopped moving.

"Merlin!"

Arthur brushed Gaius aside.

"No, you don't leave us now when we need you most. I need you. I need my best friend beside of me. Gods I haven't sleep all week. I'm waited you to wake up. And now you do this. This time when I need you most. I'm not allowing you to do that, do you hear me Merlin? Do you really think that I can handle this all by my self? I need your odd words that could be good advise sometimes. I need someone who say something to me when I'm wrong. Who will tell me the truth. Who will stay with me when everybody else is running away. I need you Merlin. Wake up you idiot!"

Nothing.

Arthur sighed. He grabbed Merlin's hand in his own.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't said this before. That I didn't realize that you were tired. Why do you always sacrifice yourself and never say anything? I don't know this Freya, but she seems so close to you even if she is dead. But here there are living people waiting for you. People who need you. If you die now, do you know how many are sworn to cut my head off? Too many. I had no idea that you were so popular Merlin. That you know so many. That there are so many who need you. Please Merlin, come back. The living need you here."

Nothing.

Arthur let him hand drop.

He felt himself empty.

Then he saw how Merlin took a gasp. Then another one. Slowly he began to breathe again.

Gaius sat down.

"He is back. Thank you Arthur."

"What is going on?" Arthur repeat himself.

"I think that Merlin will have to tell you himself, but don't expect that happening very soon. I'll say only this. There are secrets, and now isn't time to reveal them. Just, trust Merlin. What ever is going to happen, believe him."

Arthur stared Gaius. Then he looked Merlin. His chest finally rising up and down, slowl and steady.

"You know that I trust him more than anyone. I just hope that he trust me same way."

"He does. Now, go. You have to sleep. I send you message when he is awake again."

"Alright. I think that I'll go visit at Gwaine and others."

"That's a good idea sire. Good night."

"Good night Gaius."


	3. Maybe in the next life song

_Song fic, _Johanna Kurkela_'s _Ehkä ensi elämässä _(Maybe in the next life), all honor to her._

_It's really beautiful song, light and melancholic._

_This is tragedy, future fic and character's death._

_Guinevere x Arthur_

_Guinevere POV_

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><p><strong>Maybe in the next life<strong>

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><p>Today you look away from me. You are so distant. You chance the theme when I try to speak to you what happened there. I see how hurt you are. And something pressure your mind. I try to say you that you can tell me everything, you can tell me what's wrong. All these years and I found more and more about you. And I want to know you.<p>

You embrace me.

Maybe in the next life we are together again.

Like this, close to each other again.

My arms around you.

My head on your chest.

Your breathe in my neck.

Time fly away.

And I know, you are going to away, to Avalon.

Don't mind my tears. Don't see how I cry. You don't have to know how much I'm going to miss you.

I'm not ready to leave you. Us. But I promise, I keep you in my heart.

And your arms are away.

Your eyes are closed.

You lay still.

I kiss your forehead, your lips.

I say my farewell.

Maybe in the next life everything is different.

No wars, no betrayers, no king, no queen, no lover.

Maybe someday everything is otherwise.

Maybe in the next life…


	4. For you two shot

_Ah, this is what is hounded me couple of days now. Some loose scene, but I just have to write it. _

_Drama._

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><p><strong>For you<strong>

* * *

><p>Merlin turned away from Arthur and got up.<p>

"Merlin.." Lancelot was beside him, looking worried.

"Leon. Take him away from here."

The sound of Merlin's voice was absolute. Leon nodded. He wasn't going to argue. The prince's life was more important now than anyone else's. They all knew that, even Arthur himself. Even when he didn't admit it himself.

"The wound…" Lancelot tried to take a look but Merlin shook his head and set his hand Lancelot's shoulder.

"Tell him. Tell him everything what you know. Tell him everything about me."

His voice was now hardly a whisper. His eyes full of sorrow. Lancelot looked him like he had gone mad.

"You can't do this Merlin."

"Please Lancelot."

"They are coming!" Percival yelled, retreating. In his torch's light they all saw the glimmering golden eyes. "There are just too many of them."

"Not to me." Merlin said.

"But your wound…"

"I stopped the bleeding. I can deal with them. Go. Now."

And there was power behind the words. Lancelot backed off.

"Merlin?" Gwaine yelled when he saw how Merlin grabbed Percival's torch and he and Lancelot headed away.

Merlin looked his friend.

"Gwaine. Keep them safe."

"What are you going to do? Merlin!"

"Gwaine, hurry! We must go." Lancelot grabbed Gwaine's arm and pulled him back.

"Merlin!"

"Farewell my friends. It has been a honor to serve you all." Merlin smiled and he turned his back for them. He looked how the creatures came closer and closer. Sneaking, lurking in the shadows. Merlin's free hand probed the wound in his stomach. It was deep. He raised his hand to face the creatures.

"Come on, I'm ready now, but you to know, you can't go past me. And you never get me or my friends. You die here today."

And one of them attacked.

Big doglike creature with dark scales. It's tail like a long whip. Claws like saw blades. It was like a death itself. But one word from Merlin and it stopped whining.

Merlin groaned. His magic was sufficient to stop them, but his wound was fatal. And it's hurt like hell. He looked his back. The knights and the prince was gone.

"For you, my friends. For you, Arthur." Merlin whispered. And he turned to face his death.


	5. For you 2part

_Because you wanted this _hiddenworldwalker_, this is for you…_

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><p>… <strong>For you<strong>

* * *

><p>Percival poked on his foot one of the burned corpse.<p>

"Something that I didn't expect." He admitted and glanced Lancelot who looked like he was little bit ill.

"And not you either, I see."

"I knew he was powerful but this…"

There was thirty dead creatures.

"This destruction … "

Lancelot shook his head. Then theirs eyes moved to look Arthur who stood middle of everything, getting help of Gwaine to keep himself up. He looked shocked. He looked amazed. He looked scared.

"This, this is what Merlin is done? All of this?" His voice was full of awe. Gwaine felt the grip tighten in his arm.

"If he is cause this, maybe, maybe he…"

Weak hope, they all knew that. All of them remembered the wound.

"Then, where is he?" Leon asked.

" Blood. Here is blood trail. " Percival called them.

It was Gaius who was first in the move.

He followed Percival who followed the blood what lead them back in the caves.

Gaius ran so fast what he was able to, cursing his bad legs. But when he got at the destination his legs stopped moving. He felt his knees failing and he sank to the ground. And he just stared, not noticing how his sight blurred from his tears.

"Gods." He heard someone said. Someone who past him.

"Merlin?"

It was Arthur.

Merlin sat there, on the mouth of cave, leaning on the rock. His eyes were shut. His head little bit askew, like he was just sleeping. He looked peaceful.

But there was blood. Lot and lot of blood all over him and at the ground.

"Merlin?" Arthur voice was gentle, warm, when he touched Merlin's cheek.

"Merlin, you idiot, you bloody idiot. Not like this, not this, not now, not never Merlin. No bloody way like this Merlin. You don't supposed to die like this. You are, you are… What you are Merlin? Why didn't you told me? Didn't you trust me? Did you afraid me? Merlin, Merlin you idiot…"

And Arthur embraced him. He took Merlin in his lap. He didn't felt life of his servant. Just dead weight of his body.

"The lake is near."

Gaius get his voice back.

"What lake?" Gwaine asked.

"Lake of Avalon." Gaius whispered. "Merlin said once that he wanted, he wanted to... with Freya." His voice crumbled.

"Freya?"

"His loved one."

Knights looked him in awe.

"His loved one? Gods there is some thing that I never truly…" Gwaine started but was cut off.

"Freya. Lady of the lake!" Gaius cried out. "Get me up Gwaine. Get me up. We must hurry! Arthur! Arthur, get Merlin. Hurry. We must go now. Of course, Merlin is, Merlin is… Heavens sake people. We must go now if we want to save him."

"Save him? What you…"

"Merlin isn't normal human Arthur. He is more like magic creature. Like unicorns, or dragons, or fairies. I think that, maybe, maybe.. We must try. Trust me. "

Arthur looked Gaius desperate face, then Merlin's bloody face.

"I trust you, like always Gaius. Show us the way."

()

The lake's water was smooth as glass. Sun's first rays reflected it's surface. It felt like whole world was stopped moving. Like everything was waiting something.

"Get him the water Arthur." Gaius said quietly.

And Arthur walked in the water, Merlin in his lap.

"If there is someone, if there is someone who can help him, please, please help. He is dead, Merlin is dead. You have to help me." Arthur whispered. He walked deeper. Merlin's body touching water. Then something touched his legs and he stirred.

_Merlin…_

The surface vibrated.

_My dear Merlin…_

And the lady rose in the lake.

Beautiful girl who looked lightly familiar to Arthur.

Her hands were extended forward, her gaze locked onto Merlin.

_Give him to me…_

" Can you save him?"

_I don't know…_

The hands touched Merlin. She took him herself.

_Merlin…_

"Please." Arthur begged.

Her eyes meet him. Tears in their eyes.

"Please."

She turned away with Merlin and soon disappeared to the lake.

()

"In the morning, we have to go back my lord." Leon said. He didn't want to say that, but there was responsibilities to do.

"I know." Arthur replied. Night was falling. Whole day they were sat there, at shore of the lake. All day hoping. But when the night was came, the hope was bit by bit faded.

"There is old law, law of nature. Life of life." Gaius was told.

"But you said…"

"Always is hope. And I hope that Merlin is something different."

"Like exception of the rule?" Lancelot asked.

"Something like that."

And they waited.

Arthur didn't know when he was zoned out. But when he awaked, he noticed that everyone was sleeping. Including Gwaine who was supposed to keep watch. It was yet dark.

He looked them. Percival, Lancelot, Gwaine, Leon, Gaius. And Merlin.

Merlin looked to the lake, leaning against the log.

Arthur stood up and walked beside him and sat.

"Do I dream?" he asked.

"Idiot." Merlin said and smiled. Arthur's hand slammed the back of his head.

"Only an idiot to go and die for me."

"For you, always. Prat."


	6. Where is Merlin? one shot

_Another loose scene._

_But I think this is prelude for something bit longer story. Someday._

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><p><strong>Where is Merlin?<strong>

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><p>"Have you seen him?" The servant boy asked. The laundress and her ladies smiled but shook their heads.<p>

"No, I'm sorry. He was here yesterday when he picked up the prince's clean laundry." The older one said.

"Oh, the prince is furious. He has sent everyone he's seen to look for him." The servant groaned.

"Go, do your own work and leave it. I'm sure Merlin pop out somewhere in no time."

"I really hope so." The boy muttered and leaved.

Shophie rose and peeked over the high tower of clean laundry.

"He is just too cute mama Lilie. Those ears…"

"Stop drooling and get to work Shophie." Lilie commanded.

"Why didn't we tell him?" Marie asked. She was new and has been completely shocked when Merlin, the prince Arthur manservant was showed up on the laundry and mama Lilie was just waved her hand and told him to go to sleep.

"Why should we? Merlin need rest. The prince is just too hard him currently. It's like he has to be everywhere the prince is. After when the prince got more duties to do as the Regent, Merlin's work has increased too. Even when everybody helps him, he is just too busy. Let him sleep."

"But how is he going to avoid prince's rage after this?"

"Oh, you'll see then. Merlin can handle him. Notice this Marie. If you keep on Merlin's side and do what he wants, everything will go smoothly with the prince." Lilie chuckled.

It didn't take long before Merlin woke.

"The prince is looking for you Merlin." Lilie said.

"I'm sure he is." Merlin yawned.

"Be sure to eat something before you go meet him. You are too skinny my boy." Lilie glanced over him.

"Yes, mama Lilie."

"Have you angered him again?"

"Me? Maybe." Merlin's smile was smug. "But he deserved it."

"You never give up, do you Merlin?"

"Why should I? He needs someone to keep him on the ground."

"And you get yourself in the stocks, again."

"I haven't been in the stocks in ages. He just needs me too much to be around. He just didn't realize that I do some of Gaius works too nowadays."

"You can said him that."

"I have said that to him. It's not helped."

"You are gonna break someday if you don't slow down Merlin." Now Lilie sounded really worry. Merlin's smile faded. Suddenly he looked thoughtful.

"Yeah, I know. I have to do something but not before I…" His stopped and new smile appeared on his face.

"Thank you again mama Lilie. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye Marie and Shophie."

Then he was gone.

"He knows my name?" Marie was blushing.

"He know everyone in here the castle. Isn't he just too cute?" Shophie asked and Marie blushed even more.

"Girls, back to work. You can daydream when you are off." mama Lilie rushed them. She looked still the door where Merlin was gone. She was sure that something important was going on.


	7. Slip out the back again letter

_This is again song fic. _

Fort Minor_'s _Slip out the back_, all honor to him and my thanks to how good this song is. I listened this over and over again and then it hit me. Like Merlin was talking to Arthur. So I made this. Merlin's letter to Arthur. No beta in this, maybe later. _

_Oh, you can see that like slash if you really want._

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><p><strong>Slip out the back again<strong>

* * *

><p>Arthur…<p>

How I could say this…

That I hope…

That I hope someday you know me Arthur. That you know me better than anyone. I hope that someday you see me and my power and how I always be there for you and for Camelot. That you see how I slip out the back before you know that I were there. How I try to figure out my way through the maze of rights and wrongs…

Oh, how used I'm to get caught up in everyday life and how I try to make it through my day, so that I could sleep at night. Forget perfect, I'm trying not to be worthless. But in the end I fear that I see how nobody cares. That I'm nobody. That you are not there when I need you at most. How there is anyone to stay behind me…

You know, since I saw you at first time I didn't have to look a purpose anymore. When someone whit the big words, talking about destiny, said to me that you are same like me, I couldn't believe it. How could you be the same?

I remember when I met you and I learn your name. You acted like you were just too big for your frame. You were brat, you always be, but now you know when to fold and take a rest. You know now when to hold your breath and strike for all. Now you know that even heroes know when to be scared. That in the truest parts of our hearts everybody's afraid. That we fight so hard to hide our fear that we are scared ourselves.

And like you I want someone to say to me that it's alright.

What I ever do is worry, feeling out of control to the point where everything is going to end over and over.

Yeah, I know. I'm spinning around in circles again like never ending story.

This is where I say it...

.

.

.

I know you feel unprepared.

I know that you feel yourself betrayed.

I'm sorry for that.

.

All of this, this letter, is to explain to you why I had to separate myself away from you. Please understand this isn't how I hoped it would be, but I had to protect you from me.

Every single time I'm around you I just bring you down. I could tell that now it's time to be afraid.

.

That's why I slipped out the back again.

.

And I know the way I left wasn't fair to you, or anyone for matter...

I'm not a hero but don't think I don't care...

I do this because I care too much...

* * *

><p><em>Yes, I let it open<em>


	8. You deny my voice one shot

_In this fic Merlin die._

* * *

><p><strong>You deny my voice<strong>

* * *

><p><em>I can't believe it. I just can't cry<em>_ it loud enough._

_You deny my voice. I'm not allowed to say anything._

_I just follow you alone._

_But how can my words be as weapons if I can't make a sound._

Even when you are mad to me, you should be careful. But you don't trust me.

Now I have to gain your trust again, even if you know that I follow you until my last breath.

I'm afraid that you are going to never know, until you feel the silence.

When you don't hear me anymore. When I'm gone.

I'm afraid that it's vanishing, the trust, everything what might have been.

()

Only now you praise me when it's too late. You call my name but you can't see me again.

Oh how much I hope that I can change this memory for you.

Oh how I want it to burn away, I don't want you to see this.

I look how the guilty take you when you watch how I disappear.

You can't look away.

You look the parade of pain.

I know what you wish but it's too late my prince.

Only shadows remain after me.


	9. Lies though

_Morgana's thoughs of Merlin. Her thoughs are little bit twisted of hatred and love…_

* * *

><p>You told your little lies and they believe you.<p>

.

I have noticed, nothing is what it seems when you are around.

You told your sweet little lies and they fall for you.

I know.

.

I fell for you and I buried my truth right into your arms.

You took my faith with an open arms and warm embrace, to heal all my wounds.

You were my confidant and I hoped love.

Then you told your little lies and you used my words to take the good from me away and leaved the worst to sell me out.

And now I know where I belong.

Away from you.

Away from our forlorn love.

.

.

.

Oh, I noticed, you are making up tragedies but nothing is what it seems.

You know that nobody cares what is real as long as they get what they want.

And you told your little lies and entertain them, you feed their flames and you collect the harvest smiling like a idiot.

You awake the empty wishes, and when everything go wrong there is no room to blame you.

.

.

You are not what you seem.

Nothing is what it seems around of you.

.

.

.

But weak is the blaze to keep me away from you.

Eating your love, your light, even that I know that you tell only lies.

So sweet sweet lies.

.

.

.

Don't come save my soul!

Don't be the light in this darkness around me!

I don't need you anymore, you are my enemy now.

I don't need your lies anymore.

I have now blood in my hands, I offer the sacrifice.

Now come and show them your true nature.

Show them how you lie.

Tell them the truth!

.

I know now, nothing is what it seems.

And I rip out your soul, my love.

I rip out your mercy smile and I show them who you are.

.

.

Old gods kneel before me, You kneel before me, begging my mercy.

I rip out your lies and you tell the truth.

.

Because nothing is what it seems around of you.


	10. Guinevere's hope   poem

Guinevere's wish to the shooting star

* * *

><p><em>Today the night is so calm.<em>

_I stare to the night sky and I wish that I can be near to him today. _

_I wait and I wait, that I can see the shooting star. _

_That I can hope._

_And I whisper my hope to the wind, to the star, to the magic land._

_Send my greetings to him, to my love._

_Tell him how much I love, how much I wait, how much I miss him._

_How much I wish that I can feel his hand on my skin._

_I almost can feel him beside of me even now, moving in the shadows. _

_You are not here, I know, but how much I miss you today, tonight, in here where you belong._

_I don't wonder, I know, I can sleep if I want._

_Because I know that we breath the same air, we walk on the same magic land, we share the bond of love._

_Still, today, tonight, my yearning is overwhelming. _

_And I wish._

_Come home._


	11. Why he is here? one shot

_Again one loose scene what I was thinking. Maybe two shot, don't know yet._

_No beta._

* * *

><p><strong>Why he is here?<strong>

* * *

><p>"Why he is here?"<p>

Arthur looked sir Anthony and then Merlin and again to Sir Anthony

"He is always been here."

Couple of other's council members turned their head to hide their smiles. That was true. Merlin was always been there, mostly, because he was Arthur's manservant. Merlin looked amused when he waited Arthur to handle the situation. He sat the prince's right side like he was always sat there. Sir Anthony's face turned red.

"He is a servant."

"He is the substitute of Gaius. And because Merlin has took part of his job to do lately, he also now is part of the council. Didn't you know that Merlin is Gaius' ward and his apprentice?

The heads turned to look Merlin. O fcourse they knew it. Somehow. But because Merlin was usually whit Arthur anyway, they usually ignored the fact that Merlin also carry out part of Gaius' potions and so around the Camelot. The knight who were present, didn't ignored this because when Merlin was Arthur's side when they ride out the town, there were no medic whit them. Merlin was better than that.

"Did this mean that Merlin here isn't anymore your servant?"

Merlin and Arthur turned to look Gwaine who has asked the question.

"No." Arthur refused to look Merlin. " Merlin is my personal manservant, but…"

Arthur could feel Merlin's eyes on his neck.

"Because his new duties, and because of my new duties as the regent, there is others servants on his help. But the main responsibility is still at him." Arthur said. He didn't say that Merlin was also his closest and trusted advisor and friend.

Sir Anthony sat back on his seat. He didn't seemed happy, but he was able to settle for the situation. If there was commoners for the knights, one servant in the council wasn't anything. But when he looked the boy he guessed that Merlin was responsible Arthur's chanced behavior these past four years. And Sir Anthony didn't liked that. And whole meeting he stared Merlin, thinking. It was time to do something.


	12. This is not the end poem

_Arthur is dead and Merlin have to move on. Song fic, Linkin Park – Waiting for the end._

* * *

><p><strong>This is not the end<strong>

* * *

><p>I know. Arthur's dead isn't the end of the world.<p>

Not the end, but not beginning of the new era either.

Not yet anyway.

These halls and corridors are saw something like miracle.

They are saw the dream come true.

When I walk in the Arthur's old chamber, when he was just a prince, I can remember those distant times.

I sit an empty room, trying to forget the past.

It's hard to say goodbye, waiting for the end, when the memories only remain.

I holding something invisible what is there, I refuse to let go.

Thoughts are spinning in my head, we let so many thing left unsaid.

I still regret something.

When I lied to you.

And I even don't know what I really said.

My mouth kept moving when my mind went dead.

But after that, everything chance.

And I tried to convince myself that it was right, but I was wrong.

And now I'm picking up the pieces what you left to me.

The pain.

The fear.

The mercy.

I wish that I have strength to stay, but I didn't planned this.

But it is hard to just let go of you.

Now all of this is out of my hands, out of my control.

We filled our destiny.

This was never meant to last forever, I know, but I still wish it wasn't so.

Our time is gone.

Now I want trade this life for something new, something what I haven't got.

Kilgarrah is waiting me, that we can fly away at speed of light.

So I let it all disappear, until we meet again.

Because the hardest thing begin when we start again someday.


	13. She is heartless poem

_Merlin want to save Morgana, but Arthur have someting to say _

* * *

><p><strong>She's heartless<strong>

* * *

><p>I see how you look her.<p>

But can't you see?

She's heartless.

Still you wait her to come.

You wait and wait.

You hope.

Can't you see that your pain isn't love at all.

If you only could see her heart…

I'm afraid that you run out of time.

You don't see that she isn't your kin at all.

You don't realize that you can't save her anymore.

She's heartless.

She put you go through the hell if you don't see.

I know, you don't want to let her go.

But don't listen to her.

She's heartless.

She's tearing you apart.

She's not going to let you return for us.

You know what that means.

She's heartless.

She use you.

And if she got you, all is lost.

Let her go her own way.

Her heartless way.


	14. Gwaine's toast song

**Gwaine's toast**

* * *

><p>If you put it full, I drink it all.<p>

If you leave it half, I want more.

I say this my friends.

Before me is bottomless barrel.

This mead is for broken hearts.

This mead is for those who yearn.

This mead is for those who bear the heave load of life and silently suffer.

Why I toast for them?

Because this mead will wipe away all your troubles and you will carry tomorrow.

So put this stein in full.

Take a sip.

Enjoy your life.

Even if a moment, I can't feel the pain.

This mead is waiting for me.


	15. Something went wrong one shot

First there was Morgana. Morgana who was going to kill him.

Then there was Merlin, yelling something ridiculously about destiny of Albion and King and magic.

And Morgana tried to do something but Merlin was faster.

Merlin, he did something, said something, but Arthur didn't understand, but it send Morgana to fly. Her head make loud thud against the wall.

Suddenly there was Guinevere whit the knife.

And Lancelot who tried to stop her, but Guinevere was too quick.

Merlin didn't found time to realize what was happening.

He turned to look Guinevere, their eyes met and Guinevere backed. Merlin seemed abashed. He turned to look Arthur.

Arthur stared him. Slowly the gold in Merlin's eyes disappeared, turning back for the bright blue.

"Merlin?"

"I'm sorry Arthur." Merlin whispered, his eyes full of sadness and pain. Arthur heard yelling around of him, but Merlin before him had captured his whole attention. Merlin stepped forward, towards Arthur. Arthur reached into his hands but didn't catch Merlin in time when he dropped to his knees. Arthur also dropped to his knees in front of Merlin, pulling Merlin's body his arms.

"I'm sorry... Arthur." Merlin's head pressed against the Arthur's shoulder. Arthur looked Merlin's back and raised his hand. Blood. In Merlin's back was wound. Merlin whispered something.

"What? Merlin?"

Merlin didn't answered.

"Merlin?" Arthur realized somehow that he was supporting the entire weight of the Merlin's body.

"Mer… lin…" Arthur pulled him tighter in his lap.

Arthur saw Gaius who cried. He saw shocked Guinevere. His dear Guinevere, blood in her hands. The knife on the floor. Bloody knife. And Lancelot, wounded Lancelot, Gwaine beside of him, trying to stop bleeding. And dead Merlin on his lap.

Merlin.

Dead.

Arthur lulled Merlin's body and closed his eyes.

He was tired.

So tired.

* * *

><p><em>This was original ending to Moment of the life story<em>


	16. Hold me Kiss me song

Guinevere and Lancelot

song fic. _Muse - Resistance_

* * *

><p><strong>Hold me. Kiss me.<strong>

* * *

><p>Hold me.<p>

Kiss me.

Tell me.

Tell me the truth.

Is our secret safe tonight?

Are we safe in here, in this place?

If they find us?

Do our world fall down today?

This could be our last embrace.

Hold me tight.

I know, this is wrong, but sometimes I though if this should be right?

How long we can pretend that there isn't anything between us?

This is gone out of control.

I feel how the walls are started to caving in around of me.

I know, this could never last.

How much I hope that I never met you.

How much I hope that I can erase this.

How much I hope that I never fell love.

This is killing me.

Hold me.

()

I hold you.

I kiss you.

But I can't tell you the truth.

Our world keep us apart.

We live our life in fear, but every day, every night I wait to see you smile again.

I can wait a thousand years if I have to that you belong to me.

This night ends soon.

Kiss me.

Seal my lips on yours.

Kill your prayers.

Hide the truth inside of your golden heart.

So that I can pretend.

That I don't run away.

That I can hold you again.

Kiss me.

Kiss me until the morning.


	17. Do you see the stars?

Merlin's dying song

* * *

><p><strong>Do you see the stars?<strong>

* * *

><p>"<em>Arthur…<em>

_Do you see it?_

_Do you see the stars?_

_The night has come to me._

_Do you see them?_

_I'm looking at the sky, how dark it is, how much of stars there is and how inscrutable they are._

_Look Arthur, look!_

_Look how far those stars go, disappear to the horizon, beyond the universe. _

_I want to go Arthur, I want to be in peace. _

_I can see how your head bend._

_Don't worry, it's useless to carry the pointless hopes._

_Bitter is the longing._

_Do you see?_

_In the east._

_To the dawn the stars disappear. _

_Let me go and promise to me._

_Forever, to the time to the time._

_That you remember my words._

_That every time, after the nigh, there is a morning sun. "_


	18. Aftermath one shot

_Beta by TheJunebug1218_

_I decided after all to add this story, even though I have already published it in the past._

* * *

><p><strong>Aftermath<strong>

* * *

><p>"Where is he!" Arthur yelled when he saw Gwaine standing near the entrance, his eyes searching him.<p>

"Arthur!" Gwaine yelled, not hearing Arthur's voice.

"Where is he?" Arthur repeated when he jumped again over another dead body.

"In the Great Hall." Gwaine answered and Arthur passed him with incredible speed.

"Arthur! Wait!" Gwaine yelled after him, but Arthur didn't want to stop. He didn't want to hear what had happened, he just wanted to see it himself.

The Great Hall's big double doors were shattered and for the first time fear raised its head. The whole castle was messed up, dead people everywhere, but when Arthur stopped in front of those door's broken lintel, he knew that the worst was just ahead of him. Someone's hand landed on his shoulder.

"Arthur…" Gwaine's voice was full of concern.

"It is okay Gwaine. I know now. And now I have to see him before… before it's too late."

Gwaine lowered his hand and nodded. Arthur collected all of his willpower and entered the hall. The walls were burned. One of the corners Arthur saw a blonde woman's corpse and his hands sank into a fist. But then his eyes met the view that he was most afraid of.

Before the throne he saw small group of people. Gwen, bent over the puny figure on the floor and was crying. Leon looked up and saw Arthur in the doorway. He said something to Lancelot and hurried toward Arthur.

"How… how is he?" Arthur whispered when Leon was closer. Leon seemed uncertain as to what he should say.

"Not good. I don't know… He got really nasty hits from them. Some of his ribs are broken. And…" Leon couldn't say more.

"Where is Gaius?" Arthur asked.

"He is coming." Leon answered. He had already sent word to the old physician. Arthur stepped forward again, and stopped again.

"How could I face him? I judged him wrong. I make a big mistake back then."

"A huge one, yes. That's why you have to see him now. And you know him. He will forgive you. If he doesn't, I'm not sure that we would have survived today." Gwaine said. Arthur wasn't still sure of it.

"But, this is his home. He didn't do that because of me. You didn't turn your back on him. You didn't leave him to die. He is here for you, for the sake of his friends and family."

"But you are also his friend, his family. Just go now." Gwaine sighed. Arthur started to walk again. Elyan pulled his sister away and exposed Merlin to Arthur. Arthur stopped again. He couldn't move. Merlin's hair and clothes still smoked and smoldered. There were burn marks all over his body. His arm was bent in at a odd angle. On his temple was a large cut and the blood colored half of his face red.

"Arthur?" Merlin's voice was weak and when he turned his head to look Arthur he hissed in pain.

"No, don't move. Please, just, be still. Gaius will be here soon. You are going to be okay. I promise you. What ever it takes, I promise, you will be okay." Arthur slumped to his knees beside him. He didn't know what to do. He didn't dare to touch him.

"You… are safe." Merlin smiled painfully. He took a deep breath between his words. "I was… afraid that… I was too late."

"Everything is alright. The battle is over. We won. Thank you."

"You… didn't… believe me… Arthur." Merlin blamed.

"I'm sorry Merlin. Please forgive me." Arthur tried to wipe the blood off Merlin's face.

"I'm here… aren't I? Saving… your ass… again?"

"Yes, yes you are. And everything is going to be normal again. Right Merlin? Merlin?"

But Merlin was stopped moving, his breathing slowed.

"I'm so sorry for everything. Just, just don't die." Arthur whispered. He couldn't fight against the tears anymore.

"And who… told you that… I was… dying?" Merlin asked suddenly.

Arthur froze. He looked Merlin who peek at him under his eyelids.

"I'm just… tired… you know. It was a pretty… fierce… battle… between three sorcerers. Morgause wasn't… easy opponent. And… Morgana… she's gotten so strong lately. She really is… gifted. But do you… really think… that I couldn't… handle them?" Merlin closed his eyes. Slowly Arthur turned to look his knights. His grinning knights. Lancelot who looked amused. Gwaine who tried hide his laughing. Leon and Elyan, both seemed sheepish. And Gwen.

"Guinevere? Not you too."

"You really really deserved it. After all that you put him through, you deserved it." Gwen's voice was harsh. Arthur blushed with shame.

"Prat." Merlin murmured, almost in sleep now.

"Idiot." Arthur said and smiled. Although the shock, he war reviled that Merlin was still alive. "Welcome back to the Camelot."


	19. After years again one shot

_song fic. Olen muistanut_

* * *

><p><strong>After years again<strong>

* * *

><p>Lancelot hesitated for a moment, but when he saw Gwen's stopped at the corner look upon him, he hurried forward.<p>

"Gwen, wait."

"Lancelot, please, don't."

She tried to backtrack, but Lancelot grabbed her by the hand

"Listen to me. Just, listen, please."

"Then, let my hand go." Gwen asked and Lancelot let her go.

"I'm waiting Lancelot." Gwen said when she saw how much the knight struggled with his words.

"I have though you so much Guinevere. I think that I haven't though anyone ever so much than you."

"Lance…" Gwen shook her head desperately, but Lancelot didn't stopped. His eyes looked pleading at Gwen.

"The longing burn me. At nights I'm thinking only you. I remember you so well. Like beautiful pictures. I see dreams about you. I always remember you like a pain in my heart. In my soul. You are my light in the night. I have stayed awake thousand nights…"

"Please, stop this…" Gwen whispered.

"In may way I always remember you. And I miss you so much."

"Lan…" Gwen started but then she heard someone calling him.

"My queen, you must hurry, we are late."

Gwen saw her maid rushing up to her.

"Yes, I'm coming right now. Sir Lancelot. It was, nice to meet you again. It has been long time."

"It has, my queen." Lancelot smiled and bowed. He watched how his only love hurried away.


	20. Now I can go poem

_Merlin's goodbye_

* * *

><p><strong>Now I can go<strong>

* * *

><p>You melt away.<p>

Everything is gone.

One by one, the people we knew, who held our hearts.

We sit on the beach of the lake, two tired souls.

It hurt.

We let go our past, there is nothing more to give.

And you smile, and I smile.

And you let us go.

Because it is too much to grieve anymore.

You can sleep now.

You move forward.

Your hand slide away from my.

I turn to look one last time.

Again, and again.

The days change, the weeks pass.

The sounds are quiet now.

Silence.

I can let go now.

Now I can follow you.

Now I'm sure.

My vow is kept.

And I follow you to the Avalon.

Where are my loved ones.

They are waiting for me to come.

Now I can rest in peace.


	21. Here is my heart song

_Freya's song_

* * *

><p><strong>Here is my heart<strong>

* * *

><p>Hear my song, my longing.<p>

Hear me my love, over the hills and land.

Over the water of Avalon, where my heart grown.

From here you see the mountains, you see the trees, blooming forever.

In here I'm waiting you.

In here I spend my life with you.

()

Hear my song, my longing.

Hear me my love, under shady grove.

Under highest tree, under spring shed lay my heart.

I'm waiting for the stars when the night fall, before I sleep.

In here I'm waiting you.

In here I spend my life with you.

()

Hear my song, my longing.

Hear me my love, how the nightingale sing.

The voice of waves, the voice of wind on the treetops.

In here my love grown, in here our secrets are kept forever.

In here I'm waiting you.

In here I spend my life with you.


	22. One night one shot

**One night**

* * *

><p>Arthur sat there and wondered how Merlin could sleep. The thin man was twisted under the covers and snored softly. Although, Arthur knew that Merlin was tired, really tired. He was wounded and lost lot of blood. Gaius had said that there would be nothing to worry about, that Merlin was only wore him too much. Even the raging storm outside could not keep Merlin awake. Arthur browsed his servant, his most loyal friend what he had. Merlin looked so much younger than what he was. So innocent and harmless. But Arthur was saw how Merlin had killed three men without hesitation, with a skill that told Merlin had learned over the years, after all, to handle a sword. And then Merlin took a hit and fell. After that, Arthur really couldn't remember anything clearly. The battle raged around them, and eventually they had won and Arthur was able to reach Merlin.<p>

Arthur knew that he should go to his own room where there was asoft bed was waiting for him, but he couldn't leave. He felt himself too tired to move from where he sat. Here he could watch over his friend. And in the next room was Gwaine, also wounded, under Gaius' watchful eyes. Arthur rubbed his eyes. Four knights were dead.

"Why didn't I listen to you back then?" Arthur murmured quietly. Merlin repaired his position and the blanket slipped off his shoulder. Arthur leaned forward and grabbed the blanket to put it back but stopped and grimaced. The bandage was coloured in red. The wound leaked again.

"That is really going to make nasty scar to your back." Arthur stood up and walked to see Gaius. The old man was still awake, making some potions. He glanced at Arthur when he came down of Merlin's room.

"The wound, it's still bleeding." Arthur said and Gaius sighed heavily. "It was small but really deep. Luckily it's looks clean." He collected some gears and Arthur followed him back to Merlin.

"Merlin? Merlin, you have to wake up a little bit. Merlin." Gaius tried to wake him up and looked worried when he couldn't. Together with Arthur he turned Merlin in a better position to look at the wound.

"No infections, no fever. We just have to wait until the morning and hope that he wakes then. I hope that it's just exhaustion." Gaius changed the bandages.

"How's Gwaine?" Arthur asked.

"Better. He survives. He has high fever but it's normal." Gaius said. "Sire, I would suggest that you should go to sleep. It's really late."

"I can stay here, don't I?" Arthur glanced at Merlin. Gaius sighed. "Come, there is some blankets."

Arthur made the bed on the floor beside of Merlin.

"I wish that I would have listened to you then." He whispered when he stared at the rafters.

* * *

><p><em>Alright, if someone want that I do more to this, tell me.<em>

_And thanks stillnotcool :) _


	23. I will be there poem

_This can be bromance or merthur, your choice. And who is talking? Is it Arthur to Merlin or other way? Your choice..._

* * *

><p><strong>I will be there<strong>

* * *

><p>Listen to me…<p>

I will be there…

Where ever you are, I will be there…

I'm on your side, and those beast of nights can go away, because I will be there…

If these took you away, I will be there…

I don't let you broke, I will be there…

You know how transient are forces in human and I know that you are stronger than others, so don't escape to the shadows, I'm coming to you…

Listen to me…

Listen, it's only wind….

I accompany you, I will be there, so don't be afraid.

I don't let you go, I will be there…

Wait for the morning dawn, I will be there…

Wait for me, I'm coming…


	24. My friend one shot

_Song fic. Kaija Koo's So beautiful is the silence_

* * *

><p><strong>My friend<strong>

* * *

><p>Cane looked the man under the tree. He had blond hair and Camelot's knights red cape.<p>

Cane stopped front of him.

"You are coming from the battlefield?"

Piercing blue eyes turned to look at him

"Yes." The voice was quiet and tired.

"Is it over?"

The eyes wandered toward the west.

"Yes." There was lot of sadness.

Cane sat down beside the man. "Who won?"

"Camelot. But ..." Cane noticed that the man's other hand rested on the sword what was lying on the ground. "So many died today. So many are lost. And I have to face those whose sons, fathers and brothers are now dead."

"You fought to preserve peace." Cane said. He guessed that this man was no just a knight, he was something more.

"But what was the price?" The knight whispered. "Was it too high?"

"You… You lost someone? A friend?" Cane hesitated to ask.

"A friend… Yes… My most loyal friend… I can't find him. I have looked from everywhere. Without him we would have lost this war." The head went down and hand grabbed the handle of the sword. "It was my fault. If he survived, I don't think he is coming back. I… I said something… something terrible to him… And still… Still he fought… Still he was there until… I don't remember much. I saw too much."

Cane saw the tears in his eyes and looked away. They both momentarily fell into a lifetime of memories. Cane remembered how it felt when the mist covered the dead and the silence fall after the battle. And today the forest's silence was so beautiful when it was coming to life after a long battle.

"I have been in many battles in my lifetime, and I can say only this. Do not let your memories in here, if you do so, you are a lost man. Walk to the home, face the truth and continue your life. Life leaves traces, and you are still so young." Cane tried to give some advise.

The knight picked up the sword and put it on the knees.

"This is _Caledfwlch_. This sword was forged to me, only to me to use. The blacksmith was my wife's father. And my father killed him… executed him. From sorcery. My friend took this sword to the Dragon to have sword forged again and imbued with power. He said that this sword was sword of the king. And that I have proved to be worth of it."

Cane shut his eyes. He was guessed right. This knight was the King of Camelot. But what kind of person was his friend who could give him this kind of sword.

"I see that you took care of that sword what I gave you. I'm pleased." The mocking voice said behind them. The King was up before Cane was able to do anything.

"Merlin… You… You are… Alive." The King said. The young man before them was leaning against a tree, smiling broadly. Helooked very ordinary. Nobody would have considered him twice. But still he exuded something. Something old and very wise. This young man was something entirely else. This man was above of all the kings.

"I asked you to trust me Arthur. Do you really think that I'm so easily killed?"

The king shook his head in disbelief. Then he landed on his other knee and bowed.

"My Lord, can you forgive me my words? Can you ever consider that you ride again by my side at home and you receive the proper place as my advisor and court sorcerer?"

Cane stood up. He knew, that he was proving something that was moving the whole realm's future. The young man looked shocked first but then he became serious, and stepped forward. He knelt before the King and his hand fell to his shoulders.

"I will serve you until I die. My King. My friend."

The King looked his friend and finally smiled. "Merlin, you have still lot of explaining to do."

Cane sighed and left the warlock and the king alone.

He hummed contentedly. His carries harp let out a wistful tone.

"I know my friend, I know. But we will tell their story forward. And, believe me. We get to hear yet more of them."


	25. Merlin's wedding  one shot

_No beta, so forgive me my bad English._

_song fic-Brooke Fraser-Something in the water_

* * *

><p><strong>Merlin's wedding<strong>

* * *

><p>It was balmy evening. The sun was low but the midsummer's nights were long. Arthur listened how the birds sing. And how they sing! It was so bright and glorious. And it sounded like they were singing in perfect harmony. Arthur watched his friend. The war was over and it was finally the time of love and happiness. And it was Merlin if someone who deserved it all.<p>

Merlin was standing near the lake's shoreline and waited, looking into the water. And there was something in the water. Someone rose from the lake, walking toward Merlin who was now smiling wildly. Young woman with dark long hair, her eyes locked at Merlin. The dress was white and made of bright pretty things. Arthur wasn't sure what the fabric really was. The crown was made some yellow flowers and they shine like a halo made of summer. Waves were able to beach her, and Merlin stretched out his hand.

Merlin wasn't told anything who his betrothed was and now Arthur's heart skipped when he saw the bride of Merlin. He was identified the woman. She was the same who he was killed those long years ago. He couldn't believe it!

The whole wedding ceremony was like a dream, a beautiful and fragile dream. It seemed to Arthur that if he had breathed properly, he would have woken up.

Arthur watched Merlin who seemed to be crazy of love. His eyes never leaved his bride's face. Not even when the old region's high priestess gave Merlin the goblet and he drank. When Merlin said his vow, he spoke the old language what Arthur didn't understand, but he felt the warmness and love and knew that there was magic around them. Then Merlin offered the goblet to his bride who drank too.

And when Freya said her vow, it was like singing. Gwen shook Arthur's hand firmly, and he glanced at his wife. There were tears in her eyes, but her face was shining with joy.

Merlin's and Freya's kiss was quick and shy and both blushed when the guests burst to the laud hurrahs and applauses. And then Merlin suddenly wrapped his arms around Freya and kissed passionately his wife. Arthur burst laughing.


	26. Call me, call me poem

**Call me, call me...**

* * *

><p>I have watched your walking so long, so long.<p>

Watched how you slowly walk toward the sun what is slowly rising.

I have watched your empty heart, saw all your fears, and all your faults, the shame.

I have hold the hope so long, so long.

Holding the strength and waited you to call my name again.

For you I change my way, even if there is other things waiting for me.

And even if I block my ears, I know my name when you call.

So call me, call me, let me come.

Let me refresh my broken mind.

Let me be on your side.

Let me be with you because I now know my call.

And when the time pass me, my fears are growing.

So long, so long, and there is nothing about you.

But I know you understand dependence, so I hold the hope.

Make your call, call my name.

I will hear you.

And I need to know, do you let me free, because so long I have waited in this cave.

Let me live my life beside of you.

Call me.

Let me free.

.

.

.

And I can hear, my name.

I know my name when you call.

And I'll be free again.


	27. Our time is coming poem

Merlin's promise

* * *

><p><strong>Our time is coming<strong>

* * *

><p>The night is falling.<p>

You rose from the water.

In my arms, you are like warm water.

We have carved from the same wood, like I have met you before.

Same heaven and earth.

And when the thunder arrives I tell you how much I love you.

And why I choose to stay, why I never want to leave beside of you.

I can't wish better when I found you.

Through the night we dance under the rain.

But there is time with all.

And when the dawn is here I have to go.

How much I wish that I can stay.

But there is time with all.

So its go.

Our time together is coming.

My promise to you my love.

Until then, we meet under the night sky where I can keep you in my arms.


	28. Walk and walk poem

_Maybe it's Gwen, maybe Merlin... Your choice._

* * *

><p><strong>Walk and walk<strong>

* * *

><p>Hear my wishes oh Northern Star.<p>

I stood here in the highest hill, alone, looking far into the distance.

I see how under the stars, sky is filled with purple.

The war in my heels I walk alone.

The coldness sneaked into your soul until frost, and broke your heart and soul, killing your feelings.

So I leaved.

And I cry.

But you come back to my dreams.

Again and again.

I can't sleep so I walk and walk alone.

Sorrow in my heels.

What may come it's come.

But I know.

I can never go back.


	29. Alone poem

**Alone**

* * *

><p>The winds are angry today, so where you are going to fly?<p>

Where you fly Merlin, there is nothing out there to you anymore.

Only the open sea before you, and you have to fly alone.

There is storm coming, so where you are going to fly?

When you feel yearning, when the sun go down, you are alone Merlin.

Only the stars are your guide, when you have to fly alone.

But you are Merlin.

You fly even if you are alone.

You fly high above the seas and lands.

You protect us, you are our guide.

Even if you are alone.

When the night is black and the wind and the rain are hard to stand.

Tirelessly you travel forward.

Like a wind, alone.


	30. One time too much

_This was just loose scene what popped out of my freak mind._

* * *

><p><strong>One time too much<strong>

* * *

><p>Melrin stood there.<p>

He watched how Arthur and Guinevere smiled them and to each other.

Merlin felt Gaius' gaze and turned his head to watch him.

"You figured it out." Gaius whispered. Merlin nodded. But he felt so heavy today.

Someone's hand landed his shoulder.

"Merlin, I don't know how you did it, but you did it." Gwaine whispered. Merlin didn't dare to watch him.

They watched how the queen and the king walked away.

So heavy.

Merlin rubbed his chest.

"Merlin?"

He could hear Gaius' voice.

"Gwaine, Elyan, help him!"

Something hard hit him.

"Merlin!"

"I'm sorry…" Merlin whispered.

"Merlin, what you have done now? Merlin?"

"I'm sorry… "

"Look me Merlin, focus." Gaius demanded. Merlin could hear his fear.

"Being old is harder than it seems." Merlin whispered.

"Oh no Merlin…"

"Now I have somehow got caught between my lies and truths."

"Gaius, what is going on?" Gwaine asked. Merlin stretched out his hand toward his friend's voice.

"I promised, I promised to protect him… Gwaine…"

Gwaine took the hand and squeezed it hard.

"Merlin, what…"

"I got lost. Lost between my lies and truths. And I can't explain it to you. I hope… I hope…"

"Merlin, stay with me, Merlin! Gaius!"

_I'm not afraid._

_It's almost done now._

_I can't ever explain anything for any of you._

_I hope…_

_I hope that my actions speak louder. _

_I hope you understand._

Gwaine felt how Merlin's grasp eased.

"Merlin?"

But Merlin didn't answer. He seemed calm. His eyes were open, and looked into the void.

Gwaine looked around. He saw the shocked, surprised faces. And Gaius who seemed resigned.

"He's gone." And he sounded so old and tired.

"What happened?" Gwaine asked. "How? What…? No. No!"

"Gwaine, calm down. We, we have to… we have to take him out of here." Elyan whispered. Gwaine stared him. And finally nodded. He slipped his hand under Merlin, and tenderly brought this up off the floor.

"What is going on? Why…?" Arthur's voice asked and people retreated out of his way.

"What's going on ... Merlin?"

"Sire." Gaius stepped forward.

"Did he fainted again?"

"No. Sire ..." Giaus was not able to say it. And he didn't have to. Arthur had already figured out it. They all could see his face.

"How?" His voice shook.

"I need to tell something. But, can we, can we ..." Gaius' voice broke.

Arthur stepped aside and Gwaine walked past him with Merlin.


	31. Nothing left

Reveal fic.

* * *

><p><strong>Nothing left<strong>

* * *

><p>Arthur didn't know what to say. He was witnessed something what he though was impossible.<p>

Merlin didn't turned around to see him.

His hands dropped on his side and he stood there still, frozen.

"Dare to explaine… this."

Arthur's voice was mere whisper.

They looked at the destruction around him. It was all made by Merlin.

"I think I overdid it." Merlin muttered.

Arthur blinked. "You agree, therefore, this ... this ... wizardry."

Merlin turned. His eyes were still glimmering golden.

"Let me apologize Arthur."

"You…"

"Please, just, listen." Merlin asked him. He saw how Arthur was holding his sword's handle. But Arthur was listening. It was something.

"What I'm going to say… I'm sorry Arthur. Yes, I have magic. I was born with it. And when I came to Camelot, and met you, I got caught up between my lies. Uther… I couldn't just tell you. And then, I got caught between our destinies. Because I believe… Because I believe you that you can unite these lands and bring the peace. It has cost me a lot." Merlin turned his eyes away. He looked so sad that Arthur couldn't say anything.

"Maybe I should been little bit harder. But first I was afraid what you may do if you know. To gain your trust was hard, because I wanted to tell you so much and I have to lie. Then I realized that to keep you safe I have to keep myself in secret. Lies and more lies. Everyday more lies. Now, now I can only hope that…"

Merlin stopped.

Arthur tried to understand what he had heard.

"What you hope?" He asked quietly.

Merlin turned his gaze back to his king.

"I can only hope that my actions speak louder than my any words can. Because everything what I have done is because you and Camelot. So many times over these years I'm protected you and Camelot. You, your people, your land, your loved ones. When everything what I have gained is, nothing. Really. I have nothing left anymore." Merlin sighed. "Nothing."

They stared each other.

Merlin, his eyes so sad that it broke Arthur's heart, but he couldn't say anything. He remembered all those times when Merlin was spoke so wisely. Merlin was his best friend. Merlin was someone who he trusted his life. Only one who he could trust completely be there for him. Merlin, who always knew.

But Arthur couldn't say anything.

And Merlin nodded.

And he stepped back.

And then, he was gone.

And Arthur stood there and there the others found him, staring the empty place where Merlin had been.


	32. Wedding night's thoughts

Arthur just lie awake, listening Guinevere's breathing, watching how she smile when she was dreaming.

He knew that he made a right choice, that he could spend his life with her.

He only wished to stay there, in that moment, little bit longer, lying close of her.

Watching his wife.

Treasuring her.

Arthur was still angry himself that he was almost lost her forever.

Now he doesn't wanted to close his eyes and fall asleep, because Guinevere was there with him.

How much he was missed her.

Arthur leaned forward and kissed her.

He pressed himself closer of her.

Together.

Finally.

And finally he fell asleep.


	33. The Foxlady

He found her in the forest one summer evening. The fox had injured her foot and was unable to walk. They looked at each other for a moment. The man knelt down.

"Will you let me look at it?"

Fox yelped. She remained stable when the man crept up to him with caution. She allowed the man touch the leg. Man's touch was soft.

"It's not broken, but it needs to be treated. But I have to put up a campfire at night and this place does not fit for the camp. Come. I will carry you."

And the fox gave the man carry her elsewhere.

They camped in a small clear beside the spring. The fox observed the men when he bustled.

"I think that I have all the necessary herbs." The man muttered, and searched a bag.

The man was thin and tall. He was dressed like any other peasant. His black hair flowed over too large ears. He smiled all the time. He seemed awkward, but his grip was secure, and he knew what he was doing. He was very boyish, which made him look younger than he probably was. Probably he was already more than thirty. His eyes unveiled him. Eyes that had seen and experienced too much. Those eyes reflected grief and worry, but also impish and joy.

"I need a tie." The man stopped between the work. Then he pulled the scarf off around his neck.

"This should work. Well, girl. Let's see." And the man stroked his ointment on the paw to poultice and tied a scarf to shelter it.

"You have to sleep over the night that you don't strain it. In the morning you feel better." The man smiled and began to prepare a small dinner. He shared the meat with the fox.

"Sleep. I stay awake and watch that you can rest." The man told.

The fox dropped her head between her paws, still watching.

The man began to sing softly and his eyes were turned towards the sky.

The fox listened the sad voice, and finally fell asleep. And she slept the whole night dreaming about the owl what flew in the starry sky. And the white dragon who slept in the depths of the mountain. He dreamed of Knights, the King and the beautiful Queen.

When she woke up was early morning. The man looked at him thoughtfully. He looked tired but happy.

"Can you move your paw?"

The fox rose carefully to its feet. There wasn't pain anymore. The paw was completely healed. She sat down and looked at the man who gathered his belongings.

"I'm sorry that I don't serve breakfast but my food are scarce. Have a nice trip wherever you go Fox Lady." The man swung the bag over his shoulder. The fox tilted her head, stood up and turned away. But she hesitated. When she turned to look at a man she didn't saw this anywhere.

The fox rose on her hind legs and began to quietly change. Soon instead the fox there was a beautiful maiden. Her dress was a red silk, and her firered hair fell down over her waist. She looked the scarf at his hand.

"What a strange man." She muttered.


End file.
